Just another diamond in the rough

Our oldest grandson has apparently found a game that suits him to a tee.

That’s because Ty has started tee-ball this summer.

For those who might not know, tee-ball is a junior-sized version of baseball where kids Ty’s age hit a soft baseball off a tee at home plate and run around the bases while all the kids on the other team run around the field chasing after the ball — and errant throws.

There’s no keeping score, there’s no outs, everybody gets to hit, everybody gets to run, and everybody gets to go home — on the field and after the game.

All of which has me wondering — why isn’t there tee-softball for athletically-challenged older adults?

Anyway, we went to see Ty’s game last week and it turned out to be quite an adventure.

Ty was the first batter for his team, which apparently had something to do with the fact that he had the number one on his shirt. The kid with number two on his shirt batted second, number three third, and so on through the 12 or 13 batters on the team.

I guess that’s mainly to make it easier for the coaches to keep track of the batting order, since a lot of the kids can’t really count that high yet — at least, they had trouble getting lined up in order on their own without a little help from the coaches.

Being the first batter, Ty took things into his own hands, as he adjusted the tee down a little bit when he waved over the ball on his first few swings — as well as no score and no outs, there’s no balls or strikes in tee ball either.

He got his hit, and made his way around the bases, although it’s the first time I’ve seen a baseball game with coaches at every base. They’re needed, though, to tell the runners which way to turn and where to run.

When Ty’s team was out in the field, he started out at catcher. However, after a few batters, he started making a gesture toward his mother on the sidelines.

When he didn’t follow that by spitting tobacco or sunflower seeds, or singing the national anthem, we knew he wasn’t imitating a major league ballplayer, or Roseanne Barr, but instead needed to go to the bathroom.

Both of his grandmothers, who were in attendance, escorted him to the nearest restroom while the game went on without him — apparently another one of the flexible rules of tee-ball.

I don’t know if that’s how Lou Gehrig started his consecutivegame streak, because Wally Pipp had to go to the bathroom one day, but when he came back, Ty found himself in left field.

Since there wasn’t much action out there — not a lot of young sluggers in either lineup yet — at one point Ty took to lying down on his back and looking at the clouds before one of his coaches — AKA his father — came over and re-directed his attention to the game.

Distraction was a bit of a challenge for not just Ty but everyone on both teams. All of the players, it seemed, spent most of their time looking on the sidelines for mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, little brothers, big sisters and anyone else who was watching.

Since keeping your eye on the ball is the first rule of hitting, one of the coaches came up with the trick of having each playing bite the collar of their t-shirt while batting to keep their eye on the ball while swinging.

I assume that, by the time any of these kids reach the majors, they won’t need that little trick anymore. At least, I’ve never seen any Brewers with teeth marks on their uniform shirt collars.

Being tee-ball, Ty finished the night with a perfect batting average — as did everyone on the field. With no pitchers, just a batting tee, there were no astronomical earned run averages for anyone to worry about, so everyone came out ahead.

But, given the challenge he had with all the standing around baseball requires, Ty might be better off at soccer where he can run around constantly.