Aiden still has a lot to learn about women – don’t we all

FATHER’S DAZE
Emmitt B. Feldner  for The Review

He’s learning a lot in kindergarten, but apparently one thing our grandson Aiden isn’t learning is how to handle women.

But then again, let’s face it, Einstein in a post-graduate program at Oxford wouldn’t have been able to master that subject.

That didn’t stop Aiden from committing his own faux pas last week – one that left me fearing we would be minus one grandson before it was over.

It all happened when he and his parents came down to visit last week on his mother’s birthday.

When I walked into the house after work, the first thing Aiden said to me was, “Poppie, today is mommy’s birthday!”

I answered, “Yes, I know. Happy Birthday, Julia.”

Then I turned to Aiden and asked, “So Aiden, how old is mommy?”

He answered, “I don’t know - Sixty-eight.”

And it wasn’t even a question – it was a flat-out statement of fact.

Apparently, that best-seller a quarter of a century ago was wrong - you don’t learn everything you need to know in kindergarten.

One thing it did do was prove that there is nothing stronger than a mother’s love for her child – because if that had been any other male, they would have been dead on the spot, no questions asked.

That doesn’t mean he got off scot-free – he did receive about the nastiest look a mother could possibly give a child.

I did tell Aiden that Poppie and Mee-Mee aren’t even that old – yet – but I don’t know if he got the message.

The problem may be what he is learning in kindergarten.

He’s just learned to count to 100 and beyond, so maybe he’s become fascinated with large numbers and wants to apply his new knowledge wherever and whenever he can.

It did make for a bit of change when he decided later in the weekend he wanted Poppie to play hide-and-seek with him.

In years past, when he could only count to 20 or thereabouts, it meant Poppie had to scramble to find a hiding place before it was “Ready or not, here I come!”

I thought that was still the case so, when Aiden started counting, I took off to find a hiding place in a hurry.

I didn’t know he was going to keep going beyond 20 all the way to 100, which meant I was stuck crouching behind our pickup truck in the driveway for a long, long time.

Let’s just say I was afraid that, by the time he finished counting and then found me, I might be permanently stuck in a crouched position – and be forced to waddle around like that forever.

Luckily, when he did finish counting and finally found me, I was able to stand up – although Aiden could have counted way past 100 in the time it took me to get back up.

Needless to say, I convinced him that it was only necessary to count to 20, just like he used to, and he didn’t have to show off by counting all the way to 100.

Of course, I didn’t tell the real reason, that I’m not sure if I can still remember how to count all the way to 100 these days.


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