I’m more popular on Facebook than in reality

FATHER’S DAZE
Emmitt B. Feldner  for The Review

So how does someone who’s socially inept wind up in the middle of social media?

I haven’t found the answer to that question yet, but somehow that hasn’t stopped me from being all over Facebook

Actually, it’s more a mere presence than all over, but it’s still a lot more social than I ever thought I could be.

I have yet to take up any other social media, like Twitter, because there’s a limit to how far I’ll go with anything and I’m certain no one cares to be tweeted about anything I might do.

I’m going on five years on the social networking site, which it makes it probably the secondlongest social relationship of my life.

The longest, of course, is my marriage, which is now approaching 39 years, but I take no credit for that – all credit goes to my wife, who has to have the patience of an entire pantheon of saints to put up with me for that long.

I’ve got a whole collection of ‘friends’ on Facebook – more friends than I ever thought I’d have, and the number keeps growing.

It goes without saying – but I’ll say it anyway – that Facebook has stretched the definition of ‘friend’ well beyond any that I’d ever known, but that’s just another wonder of the digital age, I guess.

More than several dozen of my many Facebook friends are people I graduated from high school with, 1,000 miles away from here and more than four decades ago.

Almost all of them I hadn’t seen or heard from since we all threw our caps up in the air and they handed us our diplomas back in the early days of the Nixon administration, well before anyone knew what a Watergate was.

They include classmates who were cheerleaders, who were jocks, who were class clowns – I wasn’t the only one – who were hippies, and lots more.

I’ve got a wider circle of high school friends now than I had back when I was in high school.

Maybe it is true that time and distance tend to distort perceptions

– either that, or they’ve all gone senile already and don’t remember what I was really like back in high school.

I’ve gone from coast-to-coast with high school classmates/ Facebook friends, from Maine to California and from Florida to Ohio, and points in between.

Fortunately, I haven’t reconnected with any of my old high school flames on Facebook yet.

But then, who am I kidding, that’s a connection that’s not there to be made, except in my imagination.

Each year I get more birthday greetings that I received in total in the first couple of decades of my life.

It may be that all those people are amazed they’ve lived this long and want to acknowledge that someone else has made it that far as well.

All of it does keep me coming back to Facebook, to see who else might resurface out of the dim, dark recesses of my past.

Fortunately, the statute of limitations should be expired on any offenses I, or any of them, may have committed back then.

And if you come up with a reasonable answer to the question I asked at the beginning, just post it on Facebook.


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