Whether it’s dogs or weather, it’s all out of order

FATHER’S DAZE
Emmitt B. Feldner  for The Review

Somebody needs to fix the calendar.

We’re going through a year where we haven’t had a single month with the right weather – and that ain’t right.

We’ve had summer in spring and winter in fall.

And don’t even get me started to what happened to our summer - I’m still waiting for that to happen.

We just have to hope that somewhere somebody is saving up all the summer we’ve been missing and that we’ll get to enjoy it all someday.

I wouldn’t mind that, because I figure by now we’re probably up to a full year or more of summer, at the very least.

It may or may not be climate change that we’re going through, but it certainly is some serious climate disorientation.

Whatever it is, it wreaks serious havoc with a lot of things.

For instance, one never knows what to wear, since the weather isn’t doing what it’s supposed to.

You have to keep everything from shorts and t-shirts to parkas, ski masks and gloves handy, even in August.

It’s hard to know which one to keep accessible in the garage, the snowblower or the lawnmower – in some weeks you might find yourself using both.

I’m getting to a point in life where I prefer a little order to my life in as many areas as possible.

Who am I kidding, there’s probably never been much order of any kind in my life most of the time.

Certainly that was the case when we had kids in the house, since they are a major bringer of disorder.

While our kids have grown up and left the house, I can’t say the same for disorder – now it’s called a dog.

Gracie is a year-and-a-half old now, but she still behaves like a new puppy enough to make life interesting – and a bit disordered.

She likes to get her nose right up in your face – usually when you’re trying to eat something and she wants to know what it is and if she can have some of it.

Coming in the front door when Gracie’s loose can be an adventure.

She apparently thinks she’s part NFL defensive lineman and likes to jump all over anyone who comes in the door.

She’s been guilty of unnecessary roughness more than a few times, but I’m afraid if I threw a flag on her she’d just snatch it and start chewing on it.

If we ever get that 12 months of summer we’re overdue for, we’ll just put her outside and let her run all that energy off – it would probably take her 12 months, at the very least.

That might finally bring at least one piece of order to my life.


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